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No. 12, November 10, 1967, p. 11


Not to be outdone by a Shah, Lyndon Johnson yesterday broke tradition by crowning himself emporer. Charles de Gaulle sent him a miniature atom bomb bespeaking France's powerful independence of the U.S. Russia sent a bear, subtly disguised as a ballet dancer. The Emporer [sic] of Japan sent himself. India sent a full-sized gold-plated statue of Maharishi. And a conservative group of flower children sent a packet of seeds, which if they find the right soil, will triple the yield. Mrs. Farah Johnson wore a full-length cow-hide gown and a crown which she had whipped up for the occasion by Neiman Marcus. Helicopters dropped twenty thousand yellow roses, inundating the White House and its entire staff. Everyone just loved the whole thing except Ev Dirkson, who was miffed because he wanted to be Queen.

And while we're at it, that horrid Mr. Macnamara intends to make a present of the Great Society's own social disease, Lynda B. Johnson, to Ho Chi Minh, killing two birds with one stone, so to speak. Ho Chi Minh is impatiently awaiting his "capitalist fluff" (It's an old oriental custom. Send the eldest daughter and end the strife.).

These days being "in" is so important. It's not WHAT you think that's relative but HOW you carry it off. In other words you have to have style. Recently in Boston, Paul Christopher Jr., who makes sub-sandwiches-between-his-studies-takes-care-of-his-dear-old-mother type, led a pro-vietnam war rally, support the boys kind of thing — NO ONE was there, darlings, except a few bedraggled senior citizens in those funny hats, some neo-nazis. and some aggressive primitives from, Oh God, you know, Somerville High or something.

The above is a still from the new overground movie "Blow Job," a wonderfully innocent musical comedy of how a teenage girl learns from her mother that even love can have a bitter taste .....

Mel Lyman